Where Do I Lead a Double Life?
I was reading an editorial in the Kansas City Star newspaper today about how shocked the church goers were in Park City, KS when they learned that one of their members, Dennis Rader, was accused of being the BTK killer. While I'm not even remotely equating most of our behaviors with the horrible things this man is accused of doing, I can see in myself and others the capacity that exist simultaneously to do good and horrible deeds. The verse that the editorial writer uses is:
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? — Jeremiah 17:9
A question that I asked myself is, "what keeps most people from dipping off the edge like Dennis Rader is accused of doing?" Another question I asked myself, "was I just white-washing my 'horrible deeds' based upon my evangelical pecking order of rating evil"?
I didn't like the answers that were popping up in my head. I'd like to think that I don't have a self-hating problem, but I do realize that I love and NEED the gift of God's grace daily just as much as Dennis Rader.
Finally, I was challenged by the idea that God CAN forgive this guy and asks me to forgive him too if he sincerely repents. That's when I hit my self-righteous speed bump. It looks like there's still some road construction in my heart. I guess I need to put down that stone in my hand...
How are you challenged in this area? I'd love to hear how it's playing out in your life.
posted by A Viewpoint From Victor @ 12:23 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Victor~
Very interesting entry...thanks for posting about MN and Solomon's Porch by the way. I am a big Smallville fan and one of the struggles on the show is Clark (Superman) switching from good to bad based on a special kryptonite. I believe stories such as this one are very intriquing to our culture. The dynamics between good and evil...holiness and pride...Christ and Lucifer - Hence, shows such as Smallville and the star wars trilogy and the evolution of Darth Vader. I think we are interested in these stories because we see the same possibilities inside us. I can't exclude or be un-forgiving towards the BTK killer...I mean there are areas in my life where I am just as capable of the same monstrocities...especially if they're unseen. Jealousy, spite, ungratefulness, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness...all are hideous in the sight of God. The only difference is my evil is usually hidden. I think all of our greatest fears is that we could find ourselves in these stories - perhaps I'm wrong but I feel realizing our own evilness creates a desire for grace that we can't live without. Interesting entry
-Ty
Victor,
I have been thinking about this a lot lately too. I think that many of us inside the church lead a double life as we are afraid to share our strongholds with other Christian's for fear of being judged, rejected or unworthy. We need to remember that no one is worthy of God's love, it is there by His grace and we all need His forgiveness on a daily basis (if not more frequently) We must be cognizant that there are people in our church families that are hurting and in need of our love; inreach is as important as outreach! It starts with one person like you who is willing to step out and be honest and humble. God Bless!
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